One.
By engaging the Goblin (purchasing The Audit, The Audit with a second look, the standing arrangement, or a gift), you agree to these terms. They are not particularly onerous.
Two: what you receive.
A PDF document of approximately forty pages, composed in response to your intake submission. Delivered by email within twenty-four hours of intake (or forty-eight / five days, depending on tier).
Three: what the Goblin receives.
Your shop URL, the single sentence of your goal, your email address, and your payment for the agreed amount in U.S. dollars. He receives nothing else — not your credentials, not your customer list, not your analytics.
Four: what the Goblin does not guarantee.
He cannot guarantee that implementing his recommendations will increase your traffic, your sales, or your peace of mind. SEO is not a science. The Goblin is opinionated but not omniscient. He guarantees only the document and the diligence behind it.
Five: scope.
The audit covers your public-facing storefront, your product or listing pages, your meta data, and a handful of competitors. It does not cover legal review, accessibility audits, performance engineering beyond a brief survey, or technical implementation work. For ten listings of done-for-you rewrites, see The Goblin Fix on the bill of fare.
Six: rights.
The PDF you receive is yours. You may share it internally, with your team, your developer, your spouse, your accountant. You may not republish it commercially or pass it off as your own work. The Goblin’s methods (the rubric, the catchphrases, the engraved illustrations, the trademarks) remain ours.
Seven: replies.
You may reply to the delivery email with up to three follow-up questions of clarification. The Goblin reads them. He does not undertake fresh work on a closed audit; for a deeper engagement, summon him again.
Eight: governing law.
These terms are governed by the laws of England and Wales. Any dispute that cannot be settled by an exchange of polite letters between the parties shall be referred to the courts of London.
Nine: changes.
If we revise these terms, the version that applies to your audit is the version that was in force on the day you paid. We will keep prior versions available on request.